Acceptance and LAUGHTER

In retrospect last night I realized that a big part of my challenge the past few days has been withdrawals. I saw my neurologist on Friday and he made some very major changes to medications with pretty serious withdrawal effects. Add to that - I was allergic to the new pain patch he prescribed - a opiate analgesic. To say the least all of this lead to a terrible combination of symptoms. I think everyone who reads this saw a bit of the mood effects. I say a bit because the tears that fell and the screaming I did at moments really wasn't accurately displayed even in what was a few very emotional posts.
In addition to all my emotions. I have had the I'm coming out of my skin, my skin is crawling, shaking (not my "abnormal" shaking), vomiting and diarrhea. The new meds brought unreal dizziness, vertigo, something. The patch pain med - woke me up early this afternoon feeling like it was literally burning a HOLE through my skin. The left side of my neck, ear was almost that itchy. I called the pharmacist - yes "Take it OFF now". Allergic reaction.....that's right! Does it ever END!
My afternoon was brightened with visitors. One visitor being my very sweet niece that's about 20 months. She and I shared Matzo ball soup (her new favorite baw soup). Hahaha. She is quite a dancer so while the grown ups were talking - I turned on Royal Wedding. She was in LOVE with Fred Astaire I think :) We just loved watching her enjoy the movie, the dancing.
For now visitors mean Brett can leave the house. It is not recommended or safe for me to be left alone for the time being.Brett didn't get "free time" by any means. He took one of the girls to a long overdue eye appointment and get my son picked up at school. They came brought ice cream home - Thrifty's my favorite Chocolate Malted Crunch and Mint Chip AND cones. Yay!
Tonight my sister came over - major heart to heart. Its so hard for me to accept the new realities I'm dealing with. Acceptance is still a challenge. I would love if someone would share how to come to acceptance. I'd really appreciate it commented here - I'm positive I'm not the only one that needs to learn acceptance in their life - whether now or when someone like me Googles and finds this blog. If it is too personal - I understand.
My sister (for those who don't know we are polar opposites) hence she is a major reality check for me during things like this. She pointed out its time to stop "Live Like You Are Dying". I've always been a type A personality. I guess I like to pretend I'm not but as she pointed out - apparently most people don't chose their child's name at 9 yrs old....she listed a myriad of other things that were all too true. Along with that I have this issue - how can I make everyone happy.
When our friend "Miah" passed away from Wagner's Granulomatosis in January 2007 - I thought I changed a lot. I took a risk at work and took a new position that came with many nay-sayers. It was also a major change from anything I had ever done. We'll have a whole blog on that. I got the tattoo I always dreamed about. I've gotten more. I have smoked hookah, and recently found I enjoy cigars here and there (yes THIS is "crazy" for me). I've actually hidden this from people so they don't think less of me. I'm 35 years old!!! OK, something else I need to change.
One last major change I'll mention for here is doing Pin-up. It was a major hurdle for me to say hey I want to do this AND I'm going too. I felt like I had to again really justify my decision. This again, NO MORE. I am so proud of the work I've done with modeling. Its the best thing I have ever done for myself. I don't plan to change that anytime soon. I am blessed enough that I do have Brett and also some amazing friends that lately have reminded me of this.
OK, enough for tonight. I'm going to focus on acceptance and how blessed I am for wonderful family all of us different which is what makes us fit together and some amazing friends that make getting though each day, sometimes minute easier to get through. And I'd like to report I laughed so hard tonight with Joe, Susan, Richard and Brett my stomach hurts. Amazing feeling. Love all of YOU!!!